Stupid People
Look around you the next time you're in a crowd. Or even amongst just a few other people. If you don't know the people, this probably doesn't apply, so stick with a well-known bunch. Take a moment, and examine these folk. Are these people who have been known to say, "But why do I put this in the refrigerator?" when a cow is plainly smiling from the milk carton label? Or perhaps, "So, you're saying we won World War II?"? Chances are, there's one to be found in the group.
The fact of the matter is, stupid people are everywhere. They infest businesses, schools, and commerce everywhere. Like cockroaches with slightly better posture, these idiots scuttle about their merry way, oblivious to the fact that their opinions drag down society and confound simple matters. I myself am forced to deal with an ungodly number of such Neanderthal proportions on a daily basis. This cesspool of mediocrity in which I am routinely subjected to such mindbogglingly moronic people has a more common name-- Suffield High School. Or, for that matter, any high school. I lack a broader view on the rest of the world, but if so much as a tenth of those who manifest room-temperature IQs now go on to society with such subpar intellects, I can only hope one of Darwin's many, many tools intercedes.
But it wasn't always like this, friends. No, indeed it wasn't. For thousands of years before being formally named, natural selection ensured that those incapable of adapting to increasing mental rigors were devoured by carnivorous lizards and large sea-faring plankton. Anyone unable to understand the intricacies of the spear in hunting wooly mammoth starved to death, gnawing his own limbs off in the dark of winter to stay alive but a few more hours. Where are the leg-gnawers now? What has happened to such a sacred institution as natural selection? What bizarre loophole in the code of nature allows the unfit to reproduce? Science. Therein lies the fault.
Sadly, precautions exist to prevent such blemishes upon humanity from annihilating themselves. One boy last year died after compulsively applying deodorant-- the spraycan kind. The parents were outraged that such a thing could happen to what must otherwise been such a bright young fellow. (My apologies for lack of tone conveyance... the web is sadly lacking in a "dripping with sarcasm" button) The result? New laws, interdicts, and statutes to make sure that every spray deodorant company in existence clearly marked that applying 50 times too much antiperspirant could lead to death. Rather than spending the money to force laws upon those smart enough to use them, why not cut the problem off at the source? That's right, forced natural selection.
Think about it. Is this truly such a preposterous concept? Think of the deaths prevented by the application of warning labels and safety devices to things that need not warrant warning labels and safety devices. Think of the people still walking our streets that think pi is some sort of pastry to be purchased at Lou's Bakery in Queens. Or those that have ever spelled their own name wrong. You must think I jest, but I tell you from firsthand experience at the hands of more idiots than I could throw a shrapnel grenade at, the dumb outnumber the intelligent. I don't profess to be any variety of Einstein, but I have never spelled "cat" wrong, nor do I think algebra is a French cheese. And their strength does indeed lie in numbers. It's a matter of routine for me to be backed down by 7 or 8 of the exceptionally stupid order, over such relevant life issues as who beat the hell out of who in the hall minutes earlier, or who'll be in the World Series this year. It gets worse. Stupid people congregate in groups, hassling those who would choose not to join their ranks. Notice I say "hassle" instead of "heckle"; none of these characters meets the intellectual standards of heckling. Theirs consists solely of "Ha! You're stupid because you take honors classes and don't skateboard and wear pants with the waist at the ankles!". Scathing rhetoric, I'm sure.
They're everywhere, too. My experience is limited in scope, but what little real-world emergence I've received has demonstrated that little changes from high school to society. Sadly, they take a larger part in this macrocosm. Management seems the best alternative for those that can't cut it with the other 99.3% of the world. And, since those with subpar IQs always seem to have connections, usually established by parents with more money than brains, there's little for them to worry about. It's the ones with intelligence that have to struggle through life. Harvard or Yale? Why, Daddy donated a building! I'll pass with flying colors!
So, how to deal with these problems? Simplicity in its most domestic form: enforced Darwinism. Daddy bought you your own shiny red Corvette for making a solid 2.0 GPA? Better make it one helluva joyride, Junior. There's more under that hood than 150 horsepower. All we need now is a committee to ensure the placement of such explosive devices and anthrax deposits. And I for one should be glad to head it. Let me tell you, if I had the legal means to do it, half the population of the high school would be quite dead. But, then, perhaps that's just the antagonistic, rebellious spirit associated with a triple digit IQ.
A short addendum, as of May 28, 1999: Case in point, people. By all means, I encourage you to sign our guestbook, but must we reduce ourselves to this? People, people, people... I simply assumed that anyone reading this site must be one of the chosen ones... by that, I mean, "Not Neanderthal-like in appearance/attitude." Don't discount what's left of my faith in humanity. For instance:
"Date: 1999-05-28/02:12
Angie again (no email / no homepage ) wrote:
Who wrote about banishing 'y'? Without Y we couldn't spell yuc (i refuse to use K) or you or anything. And we couldn't get rid of C because there wouldn't be Chaffinch or chakra or Chaise longue. Personally, I like little birds who's names are spelled with C. and Chakra would loose some of it's spiritual qualities being spelled Khakra.
Religeon, it should be listed under 'case of severe delirium or loss of consciousness.' How could any one actually BELIVE that a divine, invisible being that inhabits everywhere, including LA (if i were a god i wouldn't be there)and HE actually cares about what ugly, hairless, apes who walk upright and consider themselves intelligent do. Besides, who ever said God was a man? I supose anything so idiotic would HAVE to be male. And he would have to be cruel to ever allow something as pitifully disgusting as the Spice Girls to ever survive. YAY!!! Slut power!
bye
angie"
By no means do I discount your theories, dear Angie-- why, I couldn't agree more, for the most part-- but... for the love of all that's cream-filled... don't bring up those accursed minions of Lucifier on this page. And, please... capitalize. I can't stress this enough, people. Be it email, or IMs, or guestbooks... those precious capital letters can do nothing but help your cause.
<-- Erik, disgruntled as usual, 4/30/99